Y’all ain’t ready: Christina Aguilera’s ‘Lotus’ due November, “Your Body” out Friday

If you saw the premiere of The Voice on Monday night and thought to yourself that Christina Aguilera totally looked like she had no fucks to give, that’s because she had something far more important on her mind: her universe-imploding comeback!

Earlier today, the unpaid intern who writes Xtina’s tweets took to Twitter to announce that her majesty, Miss Royal Desire, if you will, is finally going to drop her smutty new sex anthem, “Your Body”, this Friday.

The curvacious kween also unveiled the single’s official artwork, which shows her completely naked, flaunting her voluptuous figure underneath a sheer silk sheet.

Since the racy artwork was released, multiple sources report that a strung-out Lady GaGa has wrapped herself in her hotel’s curtains and obsessively started taking selcas on her cell phone in a desperate attempt to recreate Christina’s iconic cover art.

On top of fucking our bodies this Friday, Aggie also announced that her new studio album, Lotus, will arrive this November.

She explains, “Lotus. Representing an unbreakable flower that survives under the hardest conditions and still thrives.”

Not to rain on Aggie’s parade or anything, but whispers from the rumor mill say that Rihanna‘s releasing her new single next week, as well as her new album this November.

Team Lotus all the way, baby!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 12th, 2012 at 1:35 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.