Want to dress like a douche? Kanye West shows you how

Have you always wanted to dress like a self-centered egomaniac, but never knew how? Well now you too can effortlessly capture the look of a true douchebag thanks to Kanye West’s new line of fruity silk scarves. The overpriced rags are selling for $365, and feature designs inspired by West’s overrated LP ‘My Sexy Dark Magical Punctual Fantasy About a Green Unicorn named Ziggy-JuJu‘.

The Kanye scarves are more than just a simple fashion statement: They come with a number of side effects guaranteed to befall whoever is stupid enough to wear one of these things in the first place. These side effects include, but are not limited to the following:

  • Increase the size of your ego by 80%.
  • Decrease the size of your penis by 90%.
  • Make you feel like you are responsible for the success of your co-workers, when you are in fact, not.
  • Automatically get you banned from all Wal-Mart stores.
  • Entitle you to five free blowjobs from Pitchfork.
  • Cause everybody in a 1000 mile radius to hate you.

If you pre-order two or more scarves now, you’ll receive a complimentary groupie and a Dom Pérignon enema, completely FREE of charge!

So what are you waiting for? Pick up your Kanye West Wear today!

[MMParis via BallerStatus]

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 8th, 2011 at 8:06 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alex.knepper Alex Knepper

    GOD I FUCKING HATE CUNTYE. It is so fitting that he and Gaga were set to tour together. Don’t miss the biggest event of the year! — A night of egomania, pretension, and self-congratulation!

    People who say that they find him to be a genius are just lying.
    People think it’s somehow contrarian or interesting to praise his music: “He may be a tool, but he always delivers when it’s time to drop an album!” — No he doesn’t! He just doesn’t! There’s got to be some weird thing going on where people have convinced themselves that he’s a mad genius because they won’t allow themselves to believe that a man as overhyped and arrogant as he is is actually respected and can sell records.

    Worst of all, the Taylor Swift thing was a boon for him: people think it was just that one time, and that we should ‘move on’ and forgive this drunken grown man for ruining this 19-year-old girl’s night — but no! It’s not just that! It’s Gretchen Wilson! It’s “Bush hates black people”! It’s Justice! It’s “people who dislike me are racist!” It’s “I should have been in the Bible!” It’s “God personally chose me to survive that car crash!” He is fucking insufferable!

    This cunt hijacks so many events and ruins them — I mean, with the Bush Hates Black People thing — How big of a fucking douche do you have to be to turn a CHARITY EVENT into your own personal political platform? What is WRONG with this motherfucker?

  • Cuongduong_vt

    ROFLMAO. You made my day Proph =))

  • Sherwin

    “Entitle you to five free blowjobs from Pitchfork.”
    Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

  • http://twitter.com/mistercarter7 Mike Gonzalez

    LMAO
    the bad thing is i kinda like some of those scarves

  • Steveroni

    AHAHAHAHA.

    I love this blog!

  • Steveroni

    AHAHAHAHA.

    I love this blog!

  • Anonymous

    NEW TITLE:
    “Coming Soon to a Goodwill Near You!”LOL Proph that was a great post. I can’t believe he has the sack to start making scarves. That little rubberband in his head has finally snapped. I have to admit, I love a couple of his new songs, but that album was SOOOOOOO beyond over-rated. Rolling Stone with their 5 star ‘Classic’ review and ‘album of the year’ award …. Fuck you Rolling Stone. You people put Snooki on your cover. Credibility = GONE.

  • Mega

    Aw, proph and his lickspittle mad that Kanye has more talent in little finger than their faves? Funny how reviews don’t mad when it’s an artist you hate. Best reviewed album of 2010, stay mad, haters don’t run shit, etc.

  • NOOO

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WORST POST EVER. DO NOT DO KANYE!!!

  • http://twitter.com/novitoocool Novita Widia

    LOL… this article made my day… *teary-eyed

  • http://twitter.com/TMM__ Tim King

    they’ve got a mcQueen feel to them

  • http://twitter.com/TMM__ Tim King

    they’ve got a mcQueen feel to them

  • idra

    The pictures look extremely disturbing

  • http://twitter.com/Eclipse_9 eClipse

    LMFAO!!!! i’d rather die than wear his shit

  • http://ohdenny.co.cc/ ohdenny

    lol
    Luckily I can ignore all Kanye’s BS and enjoy his good music.

  • Anonymous

    I hate him.

  • Hyuugaheir

    same. he’s a little fucker but he’s amazing on the boards. more recently his performances at coachella was a great success, which was a great accomplishment for him. if that was britney, 2ne1 or some other fave, best believe that would have been blown up on this site.