The long-awaited first performance of “Your Body” was not worth the wait

Fuck our lives. All of them. Especially Christina Aguilera‘s.

It’s been a painstaking month and a half since Miss Royal Desire released 2012′s most iconic anthem, “Your Body”, and this is what we get for its first performance. No fireworks, chaps, lotus shaped nipple shields, or sequined spanx. Just Christina shouting in Jimmy Fallon’s office while The Roots bang shit loudly.

Nobody is here for this.

If it wasn’t for the awesomely amazing music video, I would be done with “Your Body” after the non-release of the explicit version and this after office hours kumbayah session. I know that Queentina is planning to whip out her Secret Potion at the American Music Awards in less than three weeks with some insane Lotus medley, but by then it may be too little, too late. Can’t she just twerk it on The Voice or somethin’, and soon?

Girl, bye.

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 3rd, 2012 at 10:10 am and is filed under Performances. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Damone-Williams/1128368368 Damone Williams

    Prophet I live for you…Los Angeles

  • JohnnyHoang

    I think this is actually awesome. (:

  • Adamoadam

    Her label majorly fucked up when the didn’t release the explicit version. Why she trying to fool us that she isn’t some sort of ultra skank?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dermot-O-Gorman/665377508 Dermot O Gorman

    that videos almost like shes and jimmy are making a joke of the song

  • http://www.facebook.com/lucaswoodstock Lucas Oliveira Dantas

    i feel you proph! but i actually liked it lol

    however!!!! i got all distracted by the fact that her hair ends look like they were drenched into a bowl of menstruation.

    u_u

  • jasonboyouh

    What happened to your voice xTina? Its so painful to hear when you sing all I want is…….

  • http://www.facebook.com/benjamin.mazzarese.3 Benjamin Mazzarese

    this was even more boring than Xtina her MyLittlePony-hair-dye — BOO WHERE ARE MY NEARLY NUDE DANCERS?!! What’s the use in stanning for Xtina when you’re not getting your nearly-nude dancers?!! WHERE ARE THE CERTAINTIES IN THIS LIFE :’(

  • http://twitter.com/DarkKard4 Sunny

    the promotion this era is abysmal. I like this performance though but we should have gotten a proper performance way sooner.

  • http://twitter.com/KamHarvStar Kamau Harvey

    YAS @ this post and the gif i just died

  • http://www.facebook.com/pinny101 Princhall Pinny Williams

    This is kinda cool man. She didn’t even sound as strained as she did during the Bionic era. I am disappointed, but this will have to do, for now. BUT WHY HASN’T ANYTHING (awesome) FROM LEAKED YET? FOR FUCKING FUCKS SAKE OF FUCKING!!

  • Kay

    Imagine being a stan of hers and having this as the first ever promo… girl you ain’t even getting the worse of it… She’s not proofing for SHIT it’s hilarious.

  • Kay
  • Kay

    promoting*

    Also she’s released Blank Page as well so that epicness slayed me enough for me to forgive her

    http://i.minus.com/is5jp95VFOCNv.gif

  • BozzPop

    Althou I like this, I agree with you… what is happening with promotion for the single and the album??? If they continue with this pace I’m afraid Lotus won’t do much better than Bionic did… :/

  • S

    Your Body is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING but if you keep this up then Floptina you will be

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    I actually liked it, she could have held herself back a bit but it was cute, they all had fun and it sounded good. I do agree that she needs to promote this shit though! She’s falling into the same trap as she did with “Bionic” of starting promo like a week before the album drops… she shoulda been ALL over the place performing “Your Body” because it is not achieving its potential chart wise due to nobody except fans knowing it’s out…
    I’ve heard the album snippets and it sounds amazing, I can deal with it under performing since it’s going to be good QUALITY but I can not deal with another album under performing due to lack of fucking promo, what was the point in taking a year off “The Voice” if all she’s going to do is an interview here and there???

    P.S She released “Blank Page” to Youtube, It’s flawless.

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    This was recorded before her amazing performance of “Beautiful” so I dunno, she’s always up and down with quality of her voice, this is good but when she restrains a bit she is flawless.

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    I don’t want anything to leak, I’d rather wait 2 weeks and pay my money.

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    They’re having fun…

  • poorthing

    She looks SO embarassed

  • poorthing

    btw, “Blank Page” sounds like Bionic ballad b sides…I smell flops. :3

  • poorthing

    I feel embarassed for her. And her hair…Gorl bye. Has anyone else noticed she looks like Snooki? Just..Fatter? :3

  • http://twitter.com/kirstydelite kirsty delight

    this is her comeback? .__.

  • Sven

    I absolutely loved it!

  • hdskjfads

    You’re delusional. This is awesome. Not every artist cares about fucking sales or where their singles chart. She definitely doesn’t. She lets her music speak for itself. It’s been 12 years and y’all still can’t realize that? It’s really sad that people care more about numbers than they do about the music.

  • SerferTJ

    I honestly wish Christina would push back the album like a month. It’s like 2 weeks away and she hasn’t done any major promo other than some random interviews. And she’s gonna have even less time to promote now that The Voice goes live next week! I just hope she knocks it out at the AMAs tho.

    HOWEVER, this performance was nice and fun, and was a hella creative interpretation of the song! I don’t think anyone saw this coming.
    Haters can just sit in their cubicle alone and utilize staplers for their intended purposes. LAME!
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbzt7kuFVQ1r33943o3_250.gif

  • Joey

    this was amazing. just amazing.

  • http://twitter.com/KidGeorge92 ϻїƞŁ•™

    She probably has just over used it, like other singers do (ex: Mariah Carey). I’m sure a little rest would help. :)

  • http://twitter.com/KidGeorge92 ϻїƞŁ•™

    I have to disagree Sir Proph, I thought it was a very fun performance. Of course its not the ideal wig snatching, life slaying performance that we were all expecting but there’s still plenty of time left for her to do so.

    Jimmy Fallon is pretty huge in late night, so it’s not like she’s not receiving promo or anything. Just have faith guys. And besides, wasn’t it rumored that she had performed this on The Voice a while back??? Maybe they’re waiting to air the performance closer to the album’s release.

  • http://twitter.com/ScoHayTV Hayden Scogin

    HAHA! I LOVE IT!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D4NNSH5PWIMHT6LKHTBEIX5OXY SisigM

    you havent heard the preview of the album online? i did. I love the song called “Circles”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_D4NNSH5PWIMHT6LKHTBEIX5OXY SisigM

    you’re being too melodramatic. it was a fun performance. CHILL

  • thugplaya56

    Prophet I am DEAD. I thought “Your Body” was waiting and ready for Xtina. You seemed to be her one last true cheerleader. I have been cautiously optimistic this era hoping for the best…(well you know the rest) but after it peaked at 34 on Hot 100 and been hovering outside Top 40 ever since, my faith has been waning. Her trashy imagery and ratty pink weave isn’t helping..not to mention she dressed up as a sluttier, trashier version of herself for Halloween… sobs, cries, presses reply on Beautiful

  • http://www.joey-nation.blogspot.com/ Joey

    I forgot that she’s actually flawless live when not over-singing and being annoying. This performance is pretty cute, not gonna lie.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YN4GHCMAO22DHQEZAH6ZDVZ6YQ Blinkx

    I’m worried that Lotus will do as badly as Flopionic :-/

  • http://twitter.com/HyunAKnowles HyunA Knowles

    I AM DEAD AT THAT LAST HARMONIZING LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  • Synchorotical

    LMFAOOOO we all know that she’s signed to perform the song FIRST on either The Voice or AMA’s Im not sure.

    Im actually thankful that she did something CONNECTED to lotus this time… I was shocked she performed Beautiful at that Sandy telethon. And of course this is not her comeback performance xD

  • rhymez

    i am so not a xtina fan ( i find her absolutely annoying), but even i think this is super awesome!

  • http://www.twitter.com/themusicprophet The Music Prophet

    Personally, it wasn’t what I expected for a FIRST performance … BUT … It was still fun for what it was…. ‘Lotus’ is amazing so far … I’m pumped that there’s only a couple tracks I don’t love… Go X!

  • theprophetblog

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • theprophetblog

    “Imagine being a stan of hers and having this as the first ever promo…”

    Lmao I know this is my whole point really, SMH

  • http://twitter.com/tinka_2910 tiggles

    This is awesome. Haha.

  • http://twitter.com/tinka_2910 tiggles

    OMG. The guy ripping pages behind her!!! I love this so much,

  • http://ohdenny.com ohdenny

    I liked it =[

  • Sollai

    i think its cute!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Quiana-Jackson/1219808991 Quiana Jackson

    Oh wow really, this promotion I don’t know smh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Quiana-Jackson/1219808991 Quiana Jackson

    LMAO !!! now that was funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Quiana-Jackson/1219808991 Quiana Jackson

    Now this is true, but charts and sales does have to do with the artist money I know it’s sad but we are taking about the indusrty here.

  • Gia

    I actually think it’s awesome. Work it, girl.

  • JOSHUA

    Musically, I think it’s great!!!