Taylor Swift’s next album will be about “heartbreak”. Duh.

While your fave flop shares cover space with Kim Kardashian in Us Weekly and Star magazine, Taylor Swift is the February cover girl for Vogue.

The feature article in the glossy fashion mag covers all the predictable shit like, “I was so awkward and lame in high school and now I’m in Vogue I just can’t believe it wow omg“, but it also offers up some details on Taylor’s next musical masterpiece, which will take on a mature new direction by tackling the perils of heartbreak.

There’s just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash-and-burn heartbreak,” she says, “and that will turn out to be what the next album is about. The only way that I can feel better about myself—pull myself out of that awful pain of losing someone—is writing songs about it to get some sort of clarity.

How very Adele of her. Will Tay Tay’s next album be the country-pop equivalent of 21?

An album full of Taylor playing the victim and crying about whichever A-list celebrity she dated that week not calling her back could make for a pretty amazing record, but it could also be incredibly annoying. I love “Dear John” as much as the next person, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for an entire album of it. Speak Now was quite romantic and whimsical, so I hope Taylor continues that onto her next record.

I’m not worried though. Taylor’s done a remarkable job at evolving with each new album, while still retaining the essence of what made everybody love her in the first place, so I’m confident that Princess Tay Tay will pull off her next record like a pro.

I’m also keeping my fingers crossed that the new album includes a song about Jake Gyllenhaal’s penis. Who’s with me?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 at 9:19 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • @Nicphillips83

    SLAYlor Swift is gonna blow all your faves away with this next album

  • http://twitter.com/davidhomusic D.Ho

    Rumor has it she IS working on a track about Jake Gyllenhaal’s penis… with Banana & LaQuinda! 

  • Heavymetallamb

    “While your fave flop shares cover space with Kim Kardashian in Us Weekly and Star magazine” – lmfao funniest line I ever read on a blog. spitted my cereal out my mouth.

    And I’m about tired of everyone following Adele. Theirs more “real” things to write about then heartbreak god. People think everyone related to Adele just cause of heartbreak, no, it was more than that. It was her overall realness that she kept in interviews and lyrics. Gaga tried to follow by releasing You and I as a single, Katy tried to follow by released One That Got Away as single. Womp womp everyone’s getting boring. Thanks adele. So happy rihanna didn’t put any ballads on her album.

  • Shady1

    I totally agree–Adele is over dramatic and she might not be heartbroken it could just be heartburn and indigestion lol

  • Shady1

    LOL its called “Guuuurl I Wish I Could Quit That Dick”

  • Shady1

    I bet–she keeps blowing all my faves (Jake G., Taylor L., John M.) thats the problem lol

  • mimifan

    Jake Gyllenhaal!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • YAAAS HONEY!!!

    I’m proud to say that I have not heard one of this bitchs songs… and I’d like to keep it that way.

  • Julez

    I’m so fucken tired of this bitch. 

  • http://twitter.com/charliekelso Charlie Kelso

    aren’t almost all of her songs about that already? Except those about loving someone (until he breaks her heart on the next track/week).

    I wonder if that’s always the subject of her conversations with her friends “OMG do you remember that guy I dated last week? well he’s the love of my life! But if he breaks my heart, I will write a song about it and that’ll be my revenge”.

    FYI Alanis did it better.

  • MUSIC LOVER

    Adele didn’t start heartbreak songs, so WTF are you talking about?  It’s not anything new.  Artists have been releasing those themed songs forever.  

    And Rihanna definitely had many mid-tempo ballads on “TTT.”

  • MUSIC LOVER

    She looks so amazing on that cover.

    Can’t wait for the new album AFTER “Enchanted” is released.

  • http://twitter.com/ThatBoyLuke luke Marriott

    *DEAD* it’s so true, if she was anyone else she’d be labeled a SLUT lol

  • SerferTJ

    #WhiteGirlProblems… the album…

    (lol, I still love her though)

  • JohnnyHoang

    sdalfjasf This comment made mah day #fuckingdead LOL

  • Heavymetallamb

    where did I say that Adele started heartbreak songs? I said im tired of everyone following her, because, until she arrived on the scene, all songs on the radio were dancey, clubbey, and about sex and party rocking. And no, on Rihanna’s album the only song that comes close to a ballad is Fool in Love. A mid tempo is well… a midtempo. Hence the name.

  • Justin

    Popstars usually always release one ballad every era. Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Rihanna, etc. It didn’t start because of Adele actually.

  • http://twitter.com/HyunAKnowles HyunA Knowles

    OMG NO TAY NOOOOO!!!!

    Dear John is soooo fucking annoying! Can’t stand it. I can’t imagine an album full of songs like that.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/RN54ZXUCMNQ4TLQBQJU6GATDB4 Jammy Smoochie

    Taylor Swift will not disappoint.