Yes, this classy photo is actually official
The shadiest man in the music biz has launched a new girl group, but they’re low budget and poorly managed that I’m guessing that they’ll be finished by the time the new year comes around.
But that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the heavenly From Above until they meet their impending demise, does it?
Now pay close attention to me as I try and explain the confusing concept behind Destiny’s Child 2.0 before we get to their surprisingly stunning debut single, “Not The Same Girl”.
Thanks to my online detective work, I discovered that From Above have been in development since at least 2007 — but if you think that they look bad on their album cover above, then just wait until you see what they were like several years ago.
You know how I call The Saturdays the Top Shop version of Girls Aloud? Well, From Above are like the Tesco version of The Saturdays. Just check out their old Last.fm page for proof.
It gets worse.
There was another version of From Above dating back even earlier than those five broads staring back at you from Last.fm. They were originally a 7-member troupe of low rent dancers that made Robin Antin’s girl group spawn look like the Royal Family by comparison. After flicking through their official website, I was surprised not to see a page listing their rates for ‘massages’.
And some of you bitches still have the nerve to insult my love of Korean girl groups when this is the alternative.
Anyway, the group seem to have been cut down to five members now, but here’s where it gets really confusing. They now have a reality show airing internationally on MTV titled Breaking From Above, which follows the group as they train and prepare the release of their single and all the usual crap you see on these kinds of shows shows. But according to a press release and interviews given by Mathew, two new members are thrown into the mix, bringing the group number temporarily up to seven, and the girls have to fight it out for placement in the final lineup (which could be any number of girls, according to Mathew).
However, the show apparently began airing this month, yet From Above’s first official single is already on iTunes (I know because I bought it), and their official album is available for preview on Amazon.com with a release date of December 11, featuring cover art of what is presumably the final five members of the group.
How do you release official music from a girl group that are starring in a reality show that documents girls as they compete for a spot to join said girl group? Doesn’t that, like, ruin the entire ending? That’s like One Direction releasing their debut single on the same day the first episode of the X Factor airs.
Only Mathew Knowles could screw something up this badly. Perhaps he’s gone a bit senile since every member of Destiny’s Child gave him the sack?
But as harsh as I’m being, I have to give props where it’s due — “Not The Same Girl” is really, really good. Sure, Mathew Knowles is clearly so out of touch with the current music market that he’s given From Above something that sounds like a Richgirl b-side that probably should’ve appeared on the last Destiny’s Child album, but just because it’s dated doesn’t mean that it isn’t fierce.
And one of the members sounds exactly like Kelly Rowland, which makes “Not The Same Girl” even better!
Take a listen below, close your eyes, and just pretend that it’s Electrik Red instead.