I’m slayed by everything you’re about to read. I want to express my excitement through comical gifs, but if I did the post would become too cluttered. Fuck my life.
Anyhoo, Girls Aloud held a huge press conference in London today (pictured above) to announce all their official comeback plans. The flaw-free five all looked off the chain, with my fave Kweenberly snatching weaves with her bodacious body, Cheryl looking accessibly stylish with an outfit that every British woman can successfully emulate for a small piece of that glamorous Cheryl Cole lifestyle, and Sarah looking like a botoxed wag / porn star.
The artwork for their new greatest hits album Ten was unveiled, and it’s predictably breathtaking and amazing etc.
To help differentiate Ten from their last hits compilation, the deluxe edition of the album will contain a second disc filled with fan-picked tracks from the group’s entire back catalog. Yes people, that means that underrated anthems like “Graffiti My Soul”, “Memory of You”, and “Control of the Knife” could possibly make the cut for Ten!
The Leaders of the Pack also announced their official Ten tour for next year, but since I don’t live in the UK, I don’t give a fuck about it. For those of you who do, check out the dates on the group’s official website.
To top it all off, the group also premiered the music video for their fierce new single “Something New”. It’s hot, but it’s essentially just a glorified lyric video. It’s obvious that the girls together for 30 minutes in total, and then filmed the rest of their solo scenes separately whenever their individual schedules allowed it.
The fact that Girls Aloud phoned in the video for the biggest pop comeback of the year is disappointing, but I’m not surprised. These flawless new money chavs have always had cheap videos. At least it’s better than “Something Kinda Ooooh”.
“Something New” drops on November 18. Ten follows on November 26.