There hasn’t been a better boy band than INFINITE since INFINITE. B.A.P. are coming close, but with INFINITE being two years into their career, they’ve had more time to perfect themselves with their synchronized stage moves and Sweetune-produced sound.

Success didn’t come to INFINITE overnight. They spent more than a year releasing moderately-successful singles before breaking out with the beautiful “Be Mine” last July, and then they sealed the deal with their follow-up hit “Paradise”. Now cementing their status as the hottest thing since spicy kimchi with their greatest single yet, “The Chaser”.

I’ve devoted countless posts to singing the praises of K-Pop production duo Sweetune, and I’m not about stop now. Sweetune’s music gets 95% of the credit for making KARA the superstars that they are, they helped take Nine Muses from a K-Pop punchline to one of the fiercest and most underrated girl groups in the game, and their work with Rainbow was nothing short of pure pop perfection. And unlike international hitmakers RedOne and Dr. Luke, Sweetune doesn’t recycle sounds — like Xenomania at their peak producing Girls Aloud and Sugababes, Sweetune creates music that’s unique to each artist, with a quality so high that you’d think everyone they works with is their favorite.

Sweetune found their signature sound for INFINITE with “Be Mine”, and now they’ve evolved it with “The Chaser”. The production is pure ’80s through-and-through: a synth-rock blitz of jagged electric guitar riffs and funky guitar chords. The flurry of retronic keys that whiz past and drop out on the opening verse is one of the best things I’ve ever heard all year, and would make the perfect soundtrack for any early ’80s movie montage. The instrumental is one of the most frantic and intense that Sweetune has ever produced, with an anxious build-up on the verses and an explosive chorus that matches the dramatic exhilaration of a blockbuster car chase.

One of INFINITE’s unique points is the way they approach rapping in their songs. Rather than just dropping a few bars on the bridge like most K-Pop groups, they litter multiple rap breaks through their songs and split them between members Hoya and Dongwoo. It sounds great, and adds a lot of variety to “The Chaser”. One second someone is singing, the next they’re rapping, and the next they’re all harmonizing together.

Lyrically, “The Chaser” is set up a lot like a similarly-themed sequel to “Be Mine”. In “Be Mine”, INFINITE professed their devotion to a crush and vowed to protect her and relieve all her worries. In “The Chaser”, they’ve already got the girl but she’s dumped them and split, leaving INFINITE to run after the dumb broad with more promises of love and protection. She doesn’t seem interested, but they keep pursuing her at the risk of their own heart. It’s a classic case of stalking that could land a guy in jail, but who the hell wouldn’t want to be hunted down by an obsessive INFINITE? I’d sleep with the front door unlocked and windows wide open if it means one of them would break in and assault me in my ‘sleep’.

The official music video for “The Chaser” is everything I want to see from an INFINITE MV: hardcore dancing. The boys’ famous synchronized choreography is better than Janet Jackson at her peak, and it’s like Christmas day every time they release a new single just to check out their latest moves. There’s an intro and outro of L suffering a crazy car accident and some other scenes of the members chasing things, but it was the epic dancing and the supreme hotness of Woohyun that really caught my eye.

Competition has been heating up lately, but “The Chaser” is flawless enough for INFINITE to continue their rapid rise to the top-tiers of the boy band hierarchy. After all, it is one of the best K-Pop songs of the year.

Score: 5/5

Even though Laurieann Gibson has made big bucks as a choreographer and creative director for the likes of Lady GaGa and Nicki Minaj, it’s always been clear that she’s the one who wants to be the star. Pressed that she never became the next Paula Abdul, Laurieann has done everything imaginable to get her name out there, and that’s cool. Ya gotta hustle in Hollywood. But when Laurieann’s dreams of superstardom involve her trying to launch a music career of her own, that’s where the line needs to be drawn.

LG has just released a new dance-pop single called “Last Chance”, and it’s much worse than you could have imagined. I’m talking hot ass fucking mess territory.

I wanted to like this solely for the trash factor, but it’s way too bad to even get some tragic pity love — it’s how Jennifer Lopez would sound if she didn’t have a multi-million dollar record label behind her. Not even Aubrey O’Day would record this shit, and you know you’ve reached rock bottom when even Danity Kane’s murderer won’t go near your music

Calvin Harris has released a few duds lately, but his new Ne-Yo collaboration “Let’s Go” isn’t one of them. At least not in my eyes. The generic dance anthem has snatched my wig and received some serious play on my iPod’s gym playlist. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t work out nor do I own an iPod, but “Let’s Go” is still mah song.

The official music video dropped today, and it’s nothing special, but I’m going to try and talk about it anyway.

I wasn’t really paying attention due to the lack of anything interesting happening within the first few seconds, but when I tabbed over every now and then, I kept seeing a bunch of people going somewhere, and then at the end everyone was dancing at a Calvin Harris rave or something. I think that’s it. Ne-Yo was sitting in a car for about three seconds, but other that that I didn’t see much of him.

Now that I’ve seen the music video, “Let’s Go” is far less exciting than I thought it was when I first heard the radio rip, but it’s still a relatively enjoyable dance tune. I imagine that fourteen-year-olds will listen to it and wish they were old enough to go clubbing, just like I did when I blasted Britney remixes at that same age.

Remember when Nine Muses debuted as a bunch of former catalog models strutting around in lingerie and dinner jackets butchering the flawless SNSD knock-off “No Playboy”? Or when T-ara first mimed their way through “Lies” and then returned dressed like cats in a music video that showed people getting fucked in the toilet of a nightclub? That’s what you call the flawless art of K-trash. Something so messy yet so amazing that you have no choice other than to bow down and worship it.

It’s not easy to become a K-trash icon. You need the exact ingredients of an addictive yet completely ridiculous song, a camp, fabulously absurd image, a minimal amount of talent compared to your peers, and that unexplainable something that takes you from being plain bad to so bad it’s good. It also helps if plagiarism and poor record sales are involved, but those two aren’t set in stone.

Now that the Nine Muses have gotten talented and T-ara is the best thing since sliced bread, it’s up to rookie divas Gangkiz to fly the K-trash flag with their bargain bin single “Honey Honey”. (right next to RaNia, of course.)

The T-ara clones released the first version (of about seven) of the “Honey Honey” music video today, and it’s a true tragic feast for the senses.

I have no idea what’s going on in the lengthy clip since it hasn’t been subtitled yet, but from what I could tell the video goes like this: A bunch of hot murderers, lesbians, and drunks drive around Europe in a van and eat lots of food.

At one point, the clip borrows from Thelma & Louise with an attempted rape at a gas station that ends with one of the Gangkiz whipping out her pistol before speeding off with the rest of the girls like a bunch of sexy fugitives on a family vacation.

I don’t know what the next million parts of the music video will be, but I’m guessing more European scenery, more guns, and more “Honey Honey” playing in the background.

The song itself is giving me life. It’s the biggest T-ara b-side ever, but it also sounds like a cheap European novelty hit from about 10 years back. It’s “The Ketchup Song” for 2012!

Hello Venus and SPICA who? Gangkiz are the year’s hottest new sensations!

Mariah Carey, aka the undisputed Queen of Classy Shade, doesn’t care who is on X Factor, as long as it’s not her.

She also thinks Britney is a very nice person.

But why Mariah no care about X Factor no more? She was desperate to do season 1 but her pregnancy got in the way, and then a scheduled appearance she was set to make was derailed by Hurricane Irene.

I guess Queen Mimi is just over it now.

X Factor? She doesn’t know that show.

Cassie, sometimes known as Queensie or Godsie, has just dropped a new music video for her critically-acclaimed commercial flop “King of Hearts”.

The low budget visual is for the official R3HAB remix of the song, and was shot in Paris during Fashion Week.
Like the rest of us, I would’ve preferred a video for the Kanye West remix of the iconic Richard X remix, but I’ll happily take this one too.

Check out Cassie’s Parisian adventure below.

Usher was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live this past weekend. Well, ‘musical’ might be pushing it too far considering that he performed the audible abomination known as “Scream”, but the point is, he was there.

And you know what Flusher, Super Douche of the Century, had the audacity to do? The bitch was texting during the damn show. Or tweeting. Or Instagramming photos of his asshole to Chris Brown. Whatever it was that he was doing, that shit was rude.

You’d think that after all these years, Usher would stop being such an asshole, but nope. Still a douche.

[Gizmdo via Details of my Life]

The worst kept secret of the year was confirmed today: Britney Spears and Demi Lovato are joining Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid as the new judges on X Factor USA.

We’ve already discussed Britney on X Factor in great detail, coming to the conclusion that she is a terrible choice for obvious reasons, but that we will all tune in to watch her because she’s Britney Spears, and Britney Spears is a flawless kween — regardless of whether she’s suitable to be a reality TV judge/mentor thingy or not.

But Demi Lovato? Girl. She’s only 19 and has yet to even bag a Platinum album.

I’m already looking forward to Simon justifying this terrible choice by saying, “DEMI’S HAD STRUGGLES SHE WAS DEPRESSED SHE CAN RELATE TO THESE KIDS SHE’S MATURE BEYOND HER YEARS BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING SHE’S BEEN THROUGH!”

And bitch, why do they have Britney on a panel with Demi? A-list and B-list should not mix in this fashion.

Not that any of this really matters though. X Factor is as much about music as an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians is. The producers do all the picking and choosing behind the scenes, and the celebrity judges just rock up with their star power and winning charm (or in Nicole Scherzinger’s case, hysterical tears). But c’mon — they’re at least supposed to pretend that the shit is real. Hiring the world’s most heavily-medicated pop star and the less-famous version of Selena Gomez is as good as sayin, “YEAH IT’S ALL FAKE THE JIG IS UP BUT WE GOT BRITNEY SO WHO CARE$!”

And why is L.A. Reid still on the panel? Simon, stop trying to make L.A. Reid happen. He’s not going to happen!

Oh well, why do I care? I don’t watch this rubbish anyway. Although I may have to tune in for Britney now. Damn it.

When TVXQ split in half, the opposing sides went in dramatically different directions. JYJ excelled at dramatic, self-composed vocal ballads, while HoMin proved that they were the charismatic masters of the stage with their bulletproof uptempos and slick R&B. JYJ have attempted to do more than just power balladry, delving into dance-pop and even collaborating with Kanye West at one point, but truth be told, most of their non-ballads have sucked harder than Dara did to get her record deal. (not surprising when HoMin have access to SM’s best resources, while JYJ, well, don’t.)

JYJ’s Junsu is determined to turn the tide by proving that he can serve up some uptempo fierceness just as well as Yunho with “TARANTALLEGRA”, the first single from his debut solo album of the same name.

When I first heard the title “TARANTALLEGRA”, I assumed that it was some nonsensical Engrish word Junsu invented because it sounded cool, but a quick Google search told me otherwise. Tarantallegra is the name of a dancing spell from Harry Potter of all places, so the bulk of the song’s lyrics are about the power of music and expression. It’s all very Brown Eyed Girls “Sixth Sense”, with a lot of interesting lines that fans are going to love interpreting. The line “music is all the same everywhere” could be about breaking down language barriers, while “now aren’t you tired of the world controlled by them” seems like an obvious dig at SM.

The song’s production, courtesy of Junsu and his brother JUNO, is the kind of sizzling hot urban-pop that died out after dance music took over. The thumping tempo remains the same for virtually the entire song, with an ominous orchestral line over the top and the occasional flourishes of electronica. With its solid pace, there’s no room for a big flashy hook, with the verse simply bleeding into a hypnotic, autotuned chant from Junsu and a repetitious rap from Asian-American Hip-Hopper FLOWSIK. It’s super dark and sexy, like the kind of song Michael Jackson might have done in the past decade if he were still young and full of swag.

To fit in with his new style, Junsu completely reigns in his big voice, delivering most of “TARANTALLEGRA” through sexy whispers and restrained singing. He lets go towards the end, but pulls back before giving too much. Everybody knows that Junsu can outsing almost any male vocalist out today, so I like how he’s tried something different and not relied on the safeguard that is his voice.

“TARANTALLEGRA” is definitely a banger that grows with each subsequent listen, but as hot as the song is, the music video is where it’s really at. As David Bowie and Prince taught us, if you do androgyny then you better own it, and Junsu does and then some. The 25-year-old rocks a wardrobe that Adam Lambert would kill for, sporting heavy jewellery, guyliner, an ever-changing hair color, and baring his chest at every possible opportunity. He even briefly dresses up as the female version of himself at once point, which is just as bizarre and bold as it is awesome. His eccentric wardrobe all ties in with the video’s highly-sexualised Gothic concept, which was reportedly inspired by the Viennese musical Elisabeth.

Junsu really sells his dramatic new image with some of the most badass choreography I’ve seen all year. The moves are unique and edgy, and Junsu’s execution is tight and fiercely professional. Sex was clearly running through the choreographer’s mind when he created the routine, so Junsu ends up coming across like a male Janet Jackson as he thrusts and humps the air in unison with his small army of backup dancers. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy do pussy pops this good — whenever they try, they either look too sleazy like Chris Brown, or too hideously effeminate. Junsu looks perfect, and I never found him even slightly attractive until seeing this clip.

Rihanna / HyunA / RaNia / Beyonce WHO?

The whole thing is totally X-rated by Korean standards, but Junsu knows that TV won’t play the video anyway thanks to SM, so he’s just gone ‘fuck it’ and gone all out, and I love it.

With a song this good, an artist this talented, and choreography this bold, it’s all the more of a crime that Junsu won’t get to perform on music programs with everybody else. At least Junsu can comfort himself by knowing that he served up one of the hottest K-Pop tunes of the year, and he didn’t need to blow Lee Soo Man to do it!

Score: 4.25/5

T-ara‘s copycat sister group Gangkiz have released the official rehearsal footage for their debut single “Honey Honey”, aka “Lovey-Dovey in Europe”.

This is the first time that we’ve gotten to hear the Shinsadong Tiger-produced “Honey Honey” in full or see the song’s choreography, and I gotta say, I’m loving it.

“Honey Honey” is a total smash and it’s already got me grooving in my chair as I type. It doesn’t sound as blatantly “Lovey-Dovey” now that I’ve heard it in full, but the similarities are definitely still there. The heavy European influences help distinguish it from T-ara’s chart-topping hit, and it certainly has a sexier, more mature vibe.

The choreography is definitely sexy and camp, with a tonne of pussy popping and addictive moves that you’ll be dying to emulate, but in terms of technicality, it’s nothing outstanding. It still shits on anything a Western girl group could do, but by K-Pop standards, it’s pretty normal and any group could execute it with ease.

Gangkiz really seem to resemble Nine Muses from their “Figaro” rehearsal here, only without the epic synchronization and absolute fierceness.

Still a stan, though!

Look out for the b-grade T-ara to debut this weekend on Music Bank.

[Credit: @HyunaKnowles]

As a Z-grade pop blogger, I’ve been burned many times in the past, and have learned to be wary of anything that seems too good to be true — especially when it involves something as elusive and defining as a new Paris Hilton single.

Rumors started swirling online today that the pop culture relic is set to return next month with her long-awaited comeback single. The song, supposedly titled “After Midnight” and featuring LMFAO, is said to be premiering on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show on June 5th.

The only problem is that there’s no reliable source to confirm it just yet. Ugh!

As Paris Hilton’s 74th biggest stan, I made it my mission today to get to the bottom of these juicy comeback rumors. According to my thorough detective work, the report originated from Digital Spy, and was then ripped off (without credit) by Perez Hilton and every pop forum on the world wide web. Digital Spy credit a Brazilian website for the report, but I had my Portuguese friend read over the source article for me, and he found no mention of Paris’ upcoming classic.

I also followed a lead on UK Mix that claimed she confirmed it while promoting her mother’s clothing line in an interview, so I hit up Youtube and watched every Kathy/Paris Hilton interview I could find dating back over the past few weeks. Besides losing a few braincells, I turned up nothing.

In other news, Paris is apparently performing at a Brazilian pop festival next month with the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Kelly Clarkson, and Cobra Starship. Take this one with a grain of salt too though, because Paris hasn’t given one performance in her entire career — not even when promoting her iconic debut album.

Boo!

Now let’s all join our hands in prayer and beg Jesus to turn these rumors into reality.

In the meantime, you can take a listen to Howard Stern ‘reviewing’ Paris’ most recent musical masterpiece “Drunk Text” below.

Since when did Ashley Roberts get a personality?

She was always the most boring member of the Pussycat Dolls, but it looks like it was just Nicole Scherzinger’s Neptune-sized ego that was blocking Ashley from truly shining.

The former Doll was recently flown to Australia as a celebrity guest for Mercedez-Benz Fashion Week. The Land Down Under really needs to raise the bar when it comes to snagging international celebs, but I’ll make an exception for Ashley, because while she was here she went on an Aussie breakfast show and shaded the shit out of the new Pussycat Dolls lineup.

Ashley started off her stunning shade spree by pulling a Mariah and pretending not to know the all-new PCD. She then admitted that she was just being sarcastic, and proceeded to name the new members using their Super Bowl promo photo — “Ashley, Nicole, Jessica…”!

Burrrrrrrrn.

She then finished by saying she was glad she was in PCD when they were at their peak with all the hits, and wished the new members luck.

Ashley Roberts needs to watch herself after making these scathing comments. Next thing she knows she’ll be taking a shower in black  & white and a murderous Robin Antin will burst through the curtain wielding a botox needle like a knife.