Christina Aguilera‘s long-awaited performance at tonight’s American Music Awards was completely and utterly amazing — for all the wrong reasons!
The unbreakable songstress cemented Lotus as the new Bionic with her gaudy trainwreck of a performance tonight, which was closer to a bad drag show than a big pop spectacle. She opened with the “Lotus Intro”, channeling Kylie Minogue by standing on a mountain of half-naked dancers and posing dramatically in chiffon against the gentle breeze of a wind machine. Like all of Aguilera’s clothes, the chiffon soon came off to reveal a bedazzled leather ensemble as the curvy reality star launched into “Army of Me” — undoubtedly one of the worst songs to come off her latest album. She awkwardly lumbered around the stage for a while, shouting and screaming instead of singing, until the performance reached its disastrous final act. “This is a celebration of all of us!” she bellowed as the clubby “Let There Be Love” kicked in and two bronzed gays rushed to her side — one tore off his clothes and gyrated in a pair of hot pink panties, while the other just queened out like crazy and posed. They were promptly replaced with a fat tranny, who popped her inflated breasts and did the splits in a giant wig. Streamers were soon raining down upon the colorful festivities, leaving Aggie to wrap up the performance as her small LGBT army raced off camera.
Lady GaGa ain’t gon’ like this. She ain’t gon’ like this one bit.