Damn Cheryl Cole is sexy.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about her maiden performance of “Call My Name” on The Voice.
Chezza, who was dressed like a smokin’ hot genie, opened the performance on a huge note by executing what has to be the most glamorous swan dive in history. She then segued it into a flurry of energetic footwork, hip thrusts, and twirls that were reminiscent of Rihanna’s recent “Where Have You Been” performances, only 100 times better.
That was the highlight of the performance, though. The choreography peaked at the beginning, and Cheryl spent the rest of the time two-stepping and blatantly miming while that oversinging banshee Jessie J most likely looked on from the judges table with some serious side eye.
Cheryl’s dance routine didn’t give her a pass for miming the entire thing at all, and she’s still young and fit enough that she could’ve have brought the moves from the start of the performance and used them the entire way through — it’s not like she had to worry about hitting any notes, right?
No doubt Cheryl will get a pass from pop fans though, solely due to how hot she looked and the glitzy intro.
Anyway, I should probably just shutup and thank God that she did mime. The “Call My Name” vocal is only listenable because Calvin Harris filtered and layered it about 100 times over. The real deal without the studio magic must be positively horrendous. Remembers this flawless clip…
By the way, I love that Cheryl timed her comeback to coincide with The Voice. Fuck you X Factor!