Beyonce teases comeback with new in-studio video

OMG, Beyonce is coming back y’all!!! Whoz excited??

*crickets chirp tumbleweed blows past etc*

Uh, okay then. So Bey checked in from the studio today via a short video posted on her newly-tweaked official website. The clip shows a casual Bey dressed down in Kmart couture, her lopsided mi goreng noodle wig barely sitting straight on her big head as she maneuvers around the recording booth holding a page of lyrics that she most likely did not write, but will later take credit for anyway.

Other than the studio clip, Bey’s site has also been updated with a performance section that reads “tour dates” when clicked, basically confirming that the Dereon diva will support her upcoming fifth studio album with another one of her famously low-budget-yet-still-overpriced world tours. If you remember correctly, the pretend pregnancy that she staged to save her career prevented her from properly touring her last album 4, so she just re-filmed her intimate I Am… Yours concert at a different venue and released it on DVD to pump some more moula outta the Beyhive.

Bey seems to be laying the groundwork to stage a pretty big comeback with her fifth album. Although she’s been in the studio with the same ol’ generic peeps (Kanye, The-Dream, Diane Warren, etc — yawn), she’s had her assistant actively posting on her tumblr account after her social media snobbery contributed to 4 flopping. We’ll likely see her on Twitter too once the album’s release draws closer. And back in April Bey pulled a GaGa and opened a special interactive fan section on her website. Word is that the move didn’t come from Bey’s team or label, but from the LAPD, who hoped that an online Beyonce community would help keep more hoodrats in front of a computer and off the streets.

Anyway, prepare yourself people, because you know this bitch is gonna be fuckin’ everywhere to compensate for the floppage of 4.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 7th, 2012 at 7:15 am and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Chakra

    I’m asleep already.

  • Bleahim

    Who cares… 2013 is Lotus year!!! :) )

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Manu-Barber/626285829 Manu Barber

    I’m excitedish! I hope its more in the likes of I Am… or B’day. Didn’t really like 4.

  • theprophetblog

    No one did

  • Necki Minenji

    Am I wrong for anticipating Heidi Montag’s comeback MORE than Beyawnce’s?

    Heidi Montag>>>>>>Paris Hilton>>>>>>>>>>>The Girl who sang the Google Me song>>>>>>>>>>>Beyonce.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pinny101 Princhall Pinny Williams

    Take an extended break woman! Geez. No-one in this industry is missing you. Hell is there even a market for “her” sound (notice the placement of the inverted commas)? No man. I like watching her perform, but she’s like a damn birth mark. Never goes away *sighs* let’s listen to B day

  • dolo

    That Beyhive section is a must-read for laughs HAHA

  • Britney Lover

    “holding a page of lyrics that she most likely did not write, but will later take credit for anyway.”

    ^^^^^ THIS ^^^^ Hahahahah!!

  • JC

    honeslty after the incredibly wack comebacks we’ve had this year id welcome beyonce back with open arms .. even if the music isnt up to par we know her stage performances will slay .. so please comeback and FAST!

  • TLo

    “Her lopsided mi goreng noodle wig barely sitting straight on her big head” LMAOOO DEATHHH @ that thang!! I know exactly what food it is! In fact, I eat it sometimes to save my life from starving even though it’s one of the worst kind of junk food u will ever find lol

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    “Word is that the move didn’t come from Bey’s team or label, but from the LAPD, who hoped that an online Beyonce community would help keep more hoodrats in front of a computer and off the streets.” < *DEAD*

    This bitch still trying??? She needs to go steal some new moves because another era of her popping her dusty pussy while wearing them nasty granny tights and 10 million leotards is so boring… and please no more collaborations with SHITga… these two need too come back when they have something original to contribute.

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    As in… she will do the same old pussy popping / weave thrashing with two bitches a step behind like she’s done for ever???

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    BYE… not gonna happen, she spent all her $ on the first flop album and now she’s hosting strip clubs for a living, not gonna make enough for another try lol

  • http://twitter.com/TheProphetBlog The Prophet

    We all do.

    When there’s no food in the fridge and no money in the wallet it’s INSTANT MI GORENG NOODLE TIME!

    I throw vegetables and avocado in to make it less trashy

  • mergong

    is it Indomie?

  • John Hoang

    I was HOLLERRRINGGGGG

  • http://twitter.com/ENL21 EddieL // 에디

    I did.. oops

  • http://www.facebook.com/lucaswoodstock Lucas Oliveira Dantas

    she could just die zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • thugplaya56

    Proph, your shade is too much to BEAR. Dead and Sick.. you love to hate B.and I can’t not love it.

  • brunswickboy86

    Considering the album sold over 1 million in the US and almost 3 million WW without any big hits, I’m sure those people enjoyed 4

    Can we put shading aside and be unbiased for one day

  • brunswickboy86

    No one is forcing you to listen to her music if you think she needs to “take a break”…at least she isn’t releasing albums every year like some other overexposed pop star

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jawon-Palacios/100001497130995 Jawon Palacios

    Ive died…

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    don’t forget the soy sauce man.

  • http://twitter.com/FauxKingLuke Luke

    no… she just drags them out for about 3 years until she drops the next one so she may as well drop an album every year she’s still always there lmao

  • SerferTJ

    Not going to lie, I’m curious about how this will turn out. Bey’s 1st singles always turn out to be fun and their respective videos are entertaining. I hope she just saves the ballads, and comes back with with them pussy-poppin tunes, I’m all for it!

    (…however, if I were Sia or Emilie Sande, I would be EXTRA cautious about where I leave my song-writing notebook)

  • http://davidsask.wordpress.com/ DavidSask

    OMG I live for your Beyonce shade, no one does it better than you Proph!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Quiana-Jackson/1219808991 Quiana Jackson

    I am rolling at this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Quiana-Jackson/1219808991 Quiana Jackson

    Word is that the move didn’t come from Bey’s team or label, but from the LAPD, who hoped that an online Beyonce community would help keep more hoodrats in front of a computer and off the streets.” LMAO damn damn damn!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/Max_Not_Mark Max M

    Mi Goreng wig. DEAD.

  • omfgcrying

    YOU MOTHERFUCKER. BITCH IM HOLLERING AND CRYING OFF THIS POST GODDAMN UR HILARIOUS PROPH. I have to bookmark this article so I can readit whenever I need a laugh lol

  • http://twitter.com/BeyonceYbaby Yasmine Jackson

    Now this is pathetic. You made time to write all this although you dont like Beyonce? Man you’re thirsty.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/4M2KRIRDWF3PQWT3EWH2S3WNZ4 Dylan

    lmao I see Beyonce still has the girls pressed and stressed. You went through all the trouble to write something like this and I assure you Beyonce won’t lose a wink of sleep, because the truth of the matter is regardless of how you feel about her, she’s the one ALL your faves admire.