OMG, Beyonce is coming back y’all!!! Whoz excited??
*crickets chirp tumbleweed blows past etc*
Uh, okay then. So Bey checked in from the studio today via a short video posted on her newly-tweaked official website. The clip shows a casual Bey dressed down in Kmart couture, her lopsided mi goreng noodle wig barely sitting straight on her big head as she maneuvers around the recording booth holding a page of lyrics that she most likely did not write, but will later take credit for anyway.
Other than the studio clip, Bey’s site has also been updated with a performance section that reads “tour dates” when clicked, basically confirming that the Dereon diva will support her upcoming fifth studio album with another one of her famously low-budget-yet-still-overpriced world tours. If you remember correctly, the pretend pregnancy that she staged to save her career prevented her from properly touring her last album 4, so she just re-filmed her intimate I Am… Yours concert at a different venue and released it on DVD to pump some more moula outta the Beyhive.
Bey seems to be laying the groundwork to stage a pretty big comeback with her fifth album. Although she’s been in the studio with the same ol’ generic peeps (Kanye, The-Dream, Diane Warren, etc — yawn), she’s had her assistant actively posting on her tumblr account after her social media snobbery contributed to 4 flopping. We’ll likely see her on Twitter too once the album’s release draws closer. And back in April Bey pulled a GaGa and opened a special interactive fan section on her website. Word is that the move didn’t come from Bey’s team or label, but from the LAPD, who hoped that an online Beyonce community would help keep more hoodrats in front of a computer and off the streets.
Anyway, prepare yourself people, because you know this bitch is gonna be fuckin’ everywhere to compensate for the floppage of 4.